To Be or Not To Be....??

Life is not what its seems to be. Now I really felt lonely even though I got all the love that I can get. I'm still finding something in my life. I'm just not sure what it is. But, no matter what i still have hope. Right now I'm missing my parents. Living in this hostel give me the sense of loneliness everytime.

I really wonder, once I have always wanted to stay away from my parents. Being control all the time is really not me...I have always tried to rebel against my dad. well, yeah I know its not a good thing to do but just once in my life, I wanted to take control of my life..my way of living..I don't want people to say that I'm a good girl all the time, always do according to what my parents told me to do..I know its good but sometimes I wanted to experiences other things beside being just a good girl

I hope to be independence, I know I can do better in life...All this is for them, my parents..I know that is what they want me to do..but sometimes being overprotective towards me..I just can't take it anymore...I really need a space of my own to breath...

I do realize when I'm far away from them, I do miss them a lot but that's all the sacrifice that I have to do to make sure that I have a good future...back at home, I become their lovable daughter compared to the others..

The question now is whether I should just be a good girl or else? everything seems not enough for me to portray who I can really be..